Save me from Romance without Deception
by AutumnFirstLight
Summary: Paul and Bella are in for a rude awakening when Paul accidentally imprints on her at their meeting. What's a girl to do when the last guy she would ever want is supposed to be the one for her? Poor Paul isn't making it any easier.
1. Chapter 1

"Shit. Fuck. God dammit. Mother fuck. Shit. Gooood. Fuck…"

It was a never ending stream of cursing from Paul, who also happened to slam his head into the table every few seconds, not that it seemed to faze him. No, it was the table that was suffering under his hard head. Where his hands gripped the table legs they creaked under the pressure. Emily was going to need a new table after this.

From my place on the couch I glanced away from him and back to the floor, then slowly lowered my head between my knees again. I felt like I was going to pass out, maybe puke, I was almost absolutely sure I was going to start crying any second. I took a deep shaky breath and held it. I was *not* going to cry. Not in front of _him,_ not now, not with all that was going on.

What was Edward going to think?

I felt dizzy again. This couldn't end well.

Jacob walked in and ignored me. That hurt so much, but I was too overwhelmed to take that in too. I stored it in some empty numb chasm of my heart to take out and cry over later. His face was a study in unhappiness; rage, disappointment, betrayal, bitterness, sadness, and confusion all sat together in perfect harmony in his features. A pow-wow of crappiness.

And he thought he'd had a bad day? What was I going to _tell_ Edward?

If he didn't already know. I gagged lightly but managed not to throw up on the cheap carpet at my feet.

"Fuck. Fuck. Shit. Jesus fuck. Kill me. God. Fuck…" One table leg sounded like it was starting to splinter.

_Well, Edward. I know we're in love and you came back for me and everything but there's this guy on the rez. No no, not Jacob, you don't know him. Well, maybe you do, I don't know. Turns out I don't know anything really. Except, they're werewolves, and this one, he's got a really dirty mouth, and he imprinted on me. That's like soul mates, but worse. So, I can't marry you. I can't do anything. Please don't kill him._

Yeah, that would go over well. He'd go and break the treaty, and kill Paul, and then my insane heart would be broken. I didn't even like this guy and his dying would break my heart. How messed up was that?

I pushed my hair back from my face with trembling hands and the setting sun glared through the window.

I felt cold. I felt angry. I felt hurt. A single tear made its way down my face. The table leg finally gave and the whole thing crashed over onto the floor.

"Fuck," I said.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: First I want to thank everyone who favorited the story and everyone who reviewed. Wow! I'm shocked. Really, you have no idea how shocked I am. I actually didn't expect anyone to read it. If I was betting I totally would have lost. So, here's chapter 2. I hope to post each chapter as a potential stand alone, that way if I get distracted, which is likely since I'll be switching jobs in just two months, I can kind of leave it without feeling guilty. Also, this story is really just fun for me, not my baby (you should check out I'm Not Anyone if you want to see what my baby looks like…I think it has a lot more spelling errors…). Yeah, so without any more ado, Chapter 2**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight nor the characters therein. **

I drove my truck at exactly the speed limit. Not a problem since my truck had issues going any faster than that. Sometimes I wondered if my dad had made Jacob rig it like that.

Jacob.

My heart broke just thinking of the look on his face. After our near kiss in the kitchen I couldn't deny how he felt about me. I wouldn't have denied how I felt about him either. That's why I'd gone to the res.

Now everything was…_Paul_.

I huffed and gripped the steering wheel until my knuckles turned white, well, _whiter_.

That stupid idiot had to go and make things worse by being _nice_. Where did he get off being that way anyway? Hot and cold was absolutely unacceptable. My back was still blushing from his heat, my arm still tingled from his sizzling touch. What right did he have to touch me? What right did he have to _imprint_?

He'd disappeared after the table broke, not hanging around to hear Emily's soft, if emphatic, complaints. I thought he was gone. A few more tears and I'd taken my leave. It wasn't like I talking to Jacob was going to be any use, he wasn't even making eye contact with me as he sat sullenly in the corner. I was pretty sure he would have left too if Sam hadn't ordered him to stay. I hadn't missed the angry tear tracks on his face.

What a mess.

"Hey guys," I'd said, "I really should get going. A storm is coming and E…Charlie is going to worry."

"Yeah," Sam told me, "it's probably best you go right now. We'll sort this out later."

I was just out the door when he reached me. His hand wrapping gently around my upper arm felt like a ray off summer sun on my skin, so hot as to be almost scalding. His heat seeped into my back from where he stood, so close. _Too_ close. Didn't this guy understand personal space?

I froze, unable to move, unable to think. A breeze rustled my hair and his smell surrounded me. Soft and warm, like a clean beach on a hot afternoon.

"Be careful, Bella." His voice was hoarse and soft and filled with care, such a contrast to earlier. And then he was gone. I glanced back and there was nothing but the door behind me.

He was such an asshole!

I don't know how far past the treaty line I was when Edward entered my truck but I was still driving down the road when he did. Completely distracted by my angry, yes, angry very angry, not anxty, definitely not worried, thoughts of Paul, his arrival was unexpected.

I screamed and swerved violently. If it hadn't been for Edward grabbing the wheel I probably would have smashed into a tree and died.

"Bella! You're upset," came Edward's melodious voice. I tried not to burst into tears at his words.

"What makes you think that?" I managed to choke out.

"Alice saw you crying. What did he do to you, Bella? If that dog hurt you…"

I turned toward the side of the road and slammed on the breaks as I jerked over to face Edward.

"Stop it!" I was crying again. "Just stop it, Edward! He didn't hurt me. We just," I could feel my lips wobbling, "we just had a fight. I don't think we're friends anymore."

"Oh, sweetheart." Edward opened his arms and I went into them willingly, bawling in an ugly fashion on his clean cream sweater.

I didn't stop crying because I was cried out. I stopped because I was cold. So cold. I shivered against Edward and pressed myself closer, hoping to generate some warmth. It didn't work.

"Oh, Edward," I sighed. "Everything is so messed up."

"I'll fix it, Bella, don't worry."

I didn't want him to fix it. I didn't want it broken in the first place. I didn't want my skin to be tingling from someone else's touch. With sudden inspiration I pressed my lips to Edward's cold ones, mashed myself against him so hard it hurt.

"…Bella."

"Please!" I cried against his mouth, and for once he complied, kissing me almost furiously.

His mouth was cold, really cold, and as I pressed myself close to him a sickly sweet smell filled my nose, like burning sugar, but I pressed on. I wanted to _feel_ him. I wanted him to be the only one I felt. Then his icy fingers brushed against the back of my arm where Paul's hand had rested and I cried out, wrenching myself away from him. It felt like frost bite, like my skin had come away under his gentle touch. I grasped my arm and twisted around, expecting to see blood dripping down my elbow, but there wasn't anything, not even a red mark.

"Bella," Edward said, concern lacing his soft voice, "What's wrong? Should I take you to see Carlisle?"

"No!" I said, then softer. "No, Edward, I'm ok. Just felt a pinch or something. I'm fine."

Edward reached toward me but I shied away. I wanted to feel, but not _that_.

He sighed and dropped his hand as I started the engine again and pulled back out onto the road. "Have you given any more thought to my proposal?"

His proposal. His actual _proposal_. As in, marry me. I felt bile pushing at the back of my throat and swallowed it down. What was it that Paul kept saying?

Oh yeah, fuck.

"Edward, about that…"

**Post A/N: I hope to have another chapter up tomorrow but in the mean time I wanted to suggest a really great story to you, it's not the Twilight genre but it's excellently written: Never Quite Normal by ****Jessa L'Rynn****.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Again, thanks for all the reviews and favorites. Still an absolute surprise. Chapter 3. Enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight nor the characters therein. **

Edward and I sat in my room. My too purple room. I didn't even _like_ purple. My favorite color was yellow. I wondered if I'd ever told anyone that.

"What do you mean you don't want to get married?" Edward asked, and I had the distinct sensation that he really had no idea what I meant. His startling beauty couldn't quite stop me from feeling irritated. Was it just an age gap thing or did he think I didn't know the meaning of my own words?

"I mean I don't want to get married. No, I mean I'm not getting married. I'm not."

"We don't have to get married right away. We can wait until you're finished with college." He sounded so reasonable.

I huffed. He wasn't getting it. Maybe I could ask Charlie for a yellow quilt. He seemed more of a doer than a talker anyway, he'd probably be happy to buy something for me. "I mean not ever, Edward."

"It's ok, you can still be friends with Jacob, I'll let you visit him on the reservation."

Tears pricked my eyes. Damn it. I glared at him, "Nothing is going to change my mind."

"I'll…"

"Nothing, Edward!" I slapped my hand over my mouth. I hadn't meant to shout at him.

Edward's eyes widened fractionally and I shifted away from him. "Sorry," I whispered.

"Are you feeling alright?" he asked, pressing his icy palm to my forehead. I think I got brain freeze. Shrugging off his hand I shook my head.

"No," I said softly.

"Would you like to tell me what happened at the reservation?"

_Paul. Heat. My heart burned to ashes and regrown like a forest after a volcano. _"No."

"Do you want me to go?" He was standing already and it wasn't the first time that I wondered if he really could read my mind, but surely he wouldn't still be here if he could…

"Yes, please." I was a terrible person. He had no idea how terrible I was.

Edward leaned toward me and I let him brush his cool lips against mine, guilty for how I'd pulled away earlier. I couldn't stop the cold shiver that ran through my body but if Edward noticed it he didn't react.

He was at my window before I had a chance to blink.

"Would you like me to tell the dog to leave, too?" He sounded both hopeful and despairing.

My head snapped up at his words. "Wolf?" I was up and at the window almost as fast as he had been.

_Paul? Jacob?_

I nearly shouted when I spoke, already pulling open the window and leaning my head out to try and catch sight of the beast hiding in the shadows. "Who is it?"

Edward sighed, "It's the youngest one, the boy."

"Seth," I said, my heart dropping and relaxing simultaneously. "No, don't tell him to go. He's just here on protect-Bella duty."

Edward rested his cool hand on my shoulder and I looked up into his sad eyes. "I just want to protect you too, you know."

He had no idea how much of a bitch I really was. "Yes, Edward, I know."

He was gone then, leaving me with a gaping wound in my heart and fluttering curtains. After a few minutes, when I was sure Edward would be far away, I leaned my head back out the window.

"Seth," I said softly, "can you come up here?"

A minute later Seth was emerging from the trees and a minute after that he was pulling himself over my window sill.

I sat on my bed and just looked at him, unsure what to say now that he was there.

"Aw, Bella," he said, running his hand through his short cropped hair "it'll work out. You just have to give him some time."

I didn't want to give him time. I didn't know what I wanted.

"It's freezing in here," I said, wrapping my arms around myself. Seth closed the window and came to sit down beside me. He was already getting taller than me.

"Is that better?" he asked.

It was several more minutes before I spoke again. "Hug me?" I asked shyly. He did and I sighed as warmth finally began to seep into my bones a little.

"It'll work out, Bella, you'll see."

I wondered how he could have so much faith after all he'd seen. Didn't he know nothing ever worked out? What made him think imprinting would be any different?

I sighed and leaned against him. It wasn't the same as Jacob, or _Paul_, but it would do.

"You know, my favorite color is yellow."

Seth started laughing and didn't stop until Charlie knocked on my door.

**Post A/N: What, that was a strange chapter? Yeah, I know. I hope you enjoyed it. I know there wasn't really any Paul in this chapter but they're kind of in conflict right now and I'm trying to make a plot. ;-) I hope to post another chapter tomorrow. In the mean time might I suggest Forward to a Time Past by Unbridled_Brunette. It's not in the Twilight genre but it's excellently written. **


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Thank you again for all the reviews. Here is chapter 3.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight nor the characters therein. **

So, it turned out that my favorite color was yellow.

When I told Charlie this he was ecstatic. Well, ecstatic for Charlie. I still have no idea why.

Not only did he buy me a new quilt, he bought a whole bed set, and new curtains, and a rug for the floor. He bought a yellow tooth brush too, just for good measure. Wow.

We walked out of the department store in Port Angeles, me carrying two bright yellow pillows and Charlie carrying everything else. He was really kind of strong. I guess I usually missed that, spending most of my time around guys who were super-human-strong.

"I still can't believe you had a boy in your room," he huffed, as we made our way to his police cruiser.

I rolled my eyes, "Yeah, a boy dad. Like, a child. Seth is not a _boy_. He is no threat to my virtue."

"I don't know, I saw him, he's getting pretty big."

"Dad, he's like twelve!"

Charlie raised an eyebrow at me, I didn't know if it was because I'd actually called him dad or because he didn't believe me. "He wasn't wearing a shirt, Bella."

"He's Quileute," I replied as we reached the car and started to put the bags in the trunk. "You know them, they don't usually wear shirts. It's some weird Indian guy thing."

"I should arrest them all for indecent exposure."

_Oh, please don't._

"Can you at least tell me _why_ he was in your room?"

_Because he was being a good friend. Because I needed a shoulder to cry on. Because he's probably the only person left who doesn't hate me. _

I shrugged.

I hadn't seen any of the Quileutes in a week. Not even Seth. I worried that I'd gotten him in trouble. Edward tried to talk to me and I ignored him. How could I spend time with him, talk with him, cuddle with him, kiss him, when all I could think of was _Paul_?

Bastard.

"Seth's just a friend, Charlie, I already told you that. He was just talking with me about the fight I had with Jacob."

"Friend, yeah yeah," Charlie said as he started the car and headed back to Forks.

I had avoided Alice, too. I knew it was stupid. I was probably giving Victoria every chance to kill me, but I just couldn't go and see if she _knew_. She disliked the wolves as much as anyone.

When Charlie spoke I nearly jumped out of my skin at the unexpectedness of it.

"I'm going down to the res on Saturday to watch the game with Billy. You want to come?"

I stared. He never asked me if I wanted to come. Did I want to come? Would I see Jacob? Would I see _Paul_? Did I even want to see Paul again?

_Hell yes._

"Um, okay," I replied, trying to sound like I wasn't freaking out over in the passenger's seat.

Charlie turned and looked at me in surprise. "Okay."

"Okay."

I turned and looked out the window. The sun had broken through the clouds and everything was bathed in the warm yellow glow.

It really was kind of beautiful here.

**Post A/N: Reviews aren't strictly necessary but if you review than other people will see that there are a lot of reviews and they'll read the story and in that way many more people will be entertained than would have been otherwise. The new chapter will be up in two (three?) days. Tomorrow I'll be posting chapter 3 of I'm Not Anyone. Please take a look at that if you haven't already. Won't be posting the day after that because, well, corporate Christmas party in the next town. By the end I'll be 'merry with drink' and not in a position to drive and probably with no access to my computer seeing as I'll be in a motel room. Let's hope I won't be too late for work the next day… So, the day of what I hope will not be a hangover I'll post the next chapter, which is already written, promise. In the mean time might I suggest Kissing Rose Tyler by ****ilianacatspawn**. **Ooooh, and if you're read this far; Paul make an appearance in chapter 5. ;-)**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: I know I said I wouldn't put it up today but my lovely little reviewers changed my mind. Yay! Here it is! The next chapter will be up on the weekend. Friday is the end of semester and I'm up to my eyeballs in work! Anyway, enjoy this chapter. Paul will be making pretty regular appearances from here on out.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight nor any of the characters therein.**

I was cold with a kind of cold that never went away.

Despite that fact that it was only a somewhat cloudy day I had on a long sleeved t-shirt and two sweaters. I still shivered as I stared down at the frying pan in front of me.

Charlie and Billy laughed together in the living room at some sports joke the commentator made.

I glared at the wall. This was a complete waste of my time. Jacob wouldn't talk to me at all, and when I'd finally followed him to his small room room he'd stormed out of the house. Presumably to hide somewhere in the forest. That had been an hour ago. And of course Paul wasn't there. Why would he be there? This whole thing was bust.

I pushed the potato wedges around sullenly in the pan. Stupid men. They give you great news just to leave again. It's because I was a bitch. I sully pushed at the potatoes again and watched as my tears sizzled in the hot oil.

I was on to the chicken breasts when Paul walked in the back door.

I had a moment to look at him, to be stunned by his exotic good looks and deep brown eyes, to wonder what it would be like to press my lips to his bow mouth; then he spoke, cocky smile in place.

"Ah, in the kitchen, where women belong."

"_What?_" I know I screeched, I know it, but I couldn't _believe_ what he'd just said. Was he really that big of an idiot?

"What?" He shrugged. "Just saying it like it is."

Yes, he was.

Before I even realized I'd done it I'd screamed and launched the pan at Paul's head. It clanged into the wall above him and fell to the ground. Not because he ducked, but because I'm a terrible aim.

"You sexist _bastard_!" Yes, I said it. I'd been thinking it for two weeks, it was bound to come out at some point. Then I threw an egg at him. This time he had to duck. It splattered onto the wall and I screamed again. I'm not sure why. I think at that point I wanted to kill him, because by the time Charlie and Billy came rushing in I was launching the glass bowl of flour at him.

Flour exploded all over the room as the bowl smashed against the door way. By this time Paul's eyes had gone wide.

"You're crazy, woman!" he exclaimed. My dad and Billy just stared. I don't think they'd ever seen me like that. I'm pretty sure I'd never _been _like that.

"I hate you!" I shouted.

A look of such hurt passed across Paul's face that it stopped me dead in my tracks, but the damage was already done. His hurt was immediately replaced by anger and he shot me an ugly sneer.

"Fuck this," he spat. "Who needs you? Fucking leech lover. You make me sick." And he stormed out.

I stood there for a few minutes, staring at the spot where he'd stood, chest heaving, before I broke down in tears. What was _wrong_ with me?

I slid to the floor and sat there crying, I don't know for how long, but when I stopped I found a box of tissues sitting next to me. I took one and blew my nose. Thanks Charlie.

I walked out to the back porch and sat down. The sky had clouded over but it wasn't raining. At least I had that. After a few minutes a dark silvery wolf trotted out of the forest and up to me. It was majestic.

"Paul?"

The wolf huffed and plopped down near my feet. It was the first time I'd seen Paul's wolf. When I went after Jacob, after he'd been "sick", on the day I found out about the Quileute werewolves, Paul had been off on patrol. I wondered now what he thought of Jared nearly tearing me to bits that day, and of Jacob's defense of me.

"I don't hate you," I said.

The wolf huffed again and crept closer. I think he was doing his best to look pathetic. It was working. A nearly-horse-sized wolf creeping toward you on his belly, giving you puppy eyes, is absolutely pathetic. I sighed and rolled my eyes, patting the spot beside me. Immediately wolf-Paul got up and plopped down beside me, dropping his giant head into my lap.

I began to play with the fur on his head absentmindedly and he chuffed lightly in pleasure.

"I still think you're a sexist though."

The wolf's ears flicked and his head gave a jerking nod. I chuckled but my smile was bitter.

"At least you admit it."

We were silent for a long time. I just let the heat from Paul's body suffuse me, thaw my blood. The feel of his fur in my hands comforted me. Finally, I spoke.

"Did you really imprint on me?"

Another jerking nod from wolf-Paul.

"Did you want to?"

His ears laid back but otherwise he did nothing, it was answer enough. I tried not to be deeply hurt and failed. It wasn't like I liked him either.

I sighed and buried my face in his fur. Inside I could hear Charlie and Billy cheering at the television.

"We are so fucked, aren't we?"

The wolf gave a soft growl and another, emphatic, nod. I tried not to cry again.

Above me the sky opened up.

"Great, that's what I thought."

**Post A/N**: **As I've said before, reviews aren't strictly necessary, but since I'm writing this story to entertain myself, and others by extension, reviews will draw in more readers, which will in turn allow more people to be entertained. So, in the spirit of sharing and Christmas, why don't you review? In the mean time might I suggest a book: Cry Wolf by Patricia Briggs. And, to anyone who is an aspiring fiction writer I'd like to suggest the book The Lie that Tells a Truth by John Dufresne. It's possibly the best book on fiction writing any of my professors ever forced on me. ;-)**


	6. Chapter 6,7, &8

**Before I begin I want to apologize for my spelling. It is truly terrible right now. I didn't get a lot of sleep this week with work stuff, and I got two migraines and I went out and drank….more than once. Anyway, all this has compiled into spelling atrocity. In my first draft I was leaving out entire words. I've tried to fix it but I'm still behind on sleep. I hope it's not too bad. If it is, please forgive me. And, if I do something stupid like switch from first person to third person or from past tense to present tense, please tell me so I can fix it!  
Oh, yes, and in the spirit of Christmas and for all those many lovely reviews I am posting three chapters in one (actually, I was going to post 2, but then after I'd written the first and second one I realized there was a third one in between that refused to be left out). So, this is chapter 6, 7 and 8. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight nor any of the characters therein.**

**Chapter 6**

I sat with the Cullens in their living room. They'd discovered reality TV. I was both amused and horrified.

"It's like watching squirrels drown." Rosalie commented as a guy with an unnaturally dark tan strutted across the screen like a peacock. Emmett let out a deep hearty laugh.

Alice just stared.

I think the entire idea of not knowing what would happen next was a shock to her. That is, until she found the mind of someone who produced the show, but she had yet to do that.

Edward and Alice had convinced me to come over. It wasn't like I could avoid them forever. I really missed them anyway, even if their skin seemed so icy lately and there was this lingering smell that kind of burnt my nose. It didn't matter, did it? They were still my family. They'd done so much for me. I tried to sink into the couch, wishing I were invisible, feeling entirely inadequate.

Edward slipped his arm around my shoulders and I shivered. The Cullens had turned on the heat in their house just for me. Frankly, I was amazed they had heat at all, seeing as they didn't need it. I hoped they hadn't installed it in just for me, I was feeling guilty enough as it was.

I thought back to nearly a week ago when Paul and I sat out on Billy's porch as it rained. He never changed back, just stayed as a wolf. Probably for the best considering the reception he'd gotten from me in his human form. It was the first time I'd felt warm in weeks.

The next night the patrols of Charlie's place began again.

My phone buzzed, nearly causing me to jump out of my skin. I jerked it out of my pocket and scooted away from Edward. The day after the patrols began the calls began. I flipped open my phone.

_UR a bitch_

I was going to find who gave Paul my phone number and kill them. It didn't matter who or what they were, they would not escape my wrath. I glared at my phone.

_UR point?_ I texted back. And how ironic was all this? I didn't feel like I needed to lie to him, to be anything but what I thought I was. Here I was, sitting with my boyfriend and his family, texting a guy who would eventually try to take me away from them and not trying to reconcile with my best friend, who hadn't spoken to me in nearly 3 weeks now. I was kind of a bitch.

_UR w/them_ was the articulate reply a minute later.

_UR point? _

I had closed my phone and was scooting closer to Edward, whose golden eyes were locked on the television, when my phone buzzed again. A look crossed Edward's face, it could have been a twitch, it could have been a grimace of pain, and I frowned as I reached for my phone.

Paul had been sending me these texts all week. It was a miracle that I hadn't broken my phone flinging it against a wall yet. I didn't know what it was bout Paul but everything to do with him seemed to be...charged, and not necessarily in a good way. More often than not his name inspired a desire to kill something, namely him. I wondered if this was what being a new vampire would be like. My stomach turned a little at that thought.

I opened my cell phone again.

_How can u stand d smell? It makes u stink_

I grimaced at Paul's latest text and wondered how he'd gotten any reputation as a woman's man. I was finding myself doubting he was anyone's man. Maybe I was weird but I assumed most women don't respond well to being habitually insulted. My mind flickered back over many of the subtle things Edward had said to me in the last year. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe we love being insulted.

_If ur trying 2impress me u rly suck at it_ I replied and out of the corner of my eye I could see Alice smile a little. A short stout girl was on the screen saying something with such a thick accent that it was almost indecipherable.

"My god, what is that on her head?" Alice asked.

Rosalie made a face, "I think that's her hair. This show actually makes me glad I died before I could be influenced by any of this…stupidity."

Both Emmett and Jasper chuckled.

"Maybe she'll grow out of it," Esme suggest kindly. "Maybe it's like when children go through that phase where they like to put their clothes on inside out."

I couldn't help it, I laughed, too.

"Are you entirely sure we can't eat them?" Jasper asked, looking to Carlisle. "I'm sure the result would be beneficial to society."

"No, we will not eat them," Carlisle replied, but a smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.

I grabbed the afghan off the back of the couch, laid there just for me after all, and wrapped it around my shoulders before snuggling into Edward again. The ridiculousness on the screen was a nice reprieve from the ridiculousness of my life.

My phone buzzes again but I reached into my pocket and set it to silent.

"Aren't you going to get that?" Edward asked.

"No," I replied sullenly but still I pulled it out of my pocket one last time. Eward had looked away, polite as ever, giving me my privacy.

_Fck u _

Ah, of course. I was finding this was Paul's reply for everything he couldn't find another reply to.

I grinned evilly as I thought of what I would text back.

_U wish_

And I went back to watching Jersey Shore with my Edward and the vampire Cullens.

Paul didn't text back until late that night, long after Edward had left and I'd dropped into sleep. I didn't see it until the next morning.

_U bet ;-)_

**A/N: I don't know if you've noticed but this is a fic about falling out of love as much as falling in love…to that end, there is this chapter.**

**Chapter 7**

I shook out my cold hand and put it in my pocket. I wasn't in the woods because I wanted to be.

It was freezing and Victoria was after me. Edward wasn't asking me to marry him with his words anymore but that didn't stop his eyes from begging me. And, ever since going over to his house earlier that week he pretty much wasn't letting me out of his sight. But I needed to get out of his sight. I felt like I was being suffocated. With Alice around it sometimes felt like even my free will was subject to him.

That's why I'd gone to the res to get the plant stuff for my biology assignment. Stupid sadistic teacher, actually making me go out to get stuff for class. Jacob would probably laugh at me.

And then Jacob was there. In wolf form. Without a sound.

I nearly had a heart attack.

"Jeez, Jake!" I cried. "Don't scare me like that. I'm just a mere mortal over here."

Jacob whined and disappeared behind a wide tree. When he showed back up again he was buttoning his cutoffs. He was hot. I could admit that now. I always thought he was hot, in every colloquial sense of the word. But now…now I didn't want him.

He was as hot as ever but I didn't want him. How much did that suck?

I'd heard from Seth that he had been nearly impossible to get a hold of after Paul imprinted so it was surprising that he just showed up. I had a moment to wonder if he'd been watching me, but then I figured Paul would have had that covered. He patrolled me and Charlie's place so much I wondered when he ever slept.

There were tear tracks on Jacob's face.

He stopped a few feet from me and didn't speak for a long time. How do you say goodbye to your best friend?

"Why?" He finally croaked.

I shrugged, sniffing at my own tears. When had I begun to cry?

"I don't know," I managed to say past the knot in my throat.

"I wish it had been me," he said, and there was such brokenness in his voice that if killing myself would have made it better I would have done it right there. How could life do this to him? How could I?

"I wish that too."

At my confession Jacob gave a soft cry and fell to his knees in front of me. He sobbed a few times, head hung low against his chest before I took pity on him and closed the distance between us, resting my hands gently on his head and shoulder. He gave another sob and wrapped his big arms around my waist, burying is face in my stomach.

He stayed like that for a long time, knees pressing into the soft dark earth, crying against my shirt as I let my tears fall into his hair. We were mourning the injustice of it. Of all the ways things should have been, this was not it.

Finally he managed to get a hold of himself. He looked up at me, though he didn't let go. His eyes were still red rimmed and wet. Secretly I was grateful that he didn't let go. His warmth seemed to ease the coldness that seeped into my bones, and the stress that stretched my muscles. I felt relaxed around him, at peace. I wondered if having him around would keep the nightmares I'd been having away in a way that Edward's presence did not.

"Do you still want me?"

As caught up in my own reverie as I was the question caught me off guard.

I turned my eyes to him. There was still hope there. I didn't want to be the one to squash it, but I couldn't lie. Not to him.

My voice was barely a whisper, but I know he heard. "Not anymore."

Jacob stayed where he was for a few more minutes before slowly getting to his feet. He looked very tired, and much older.

I wanted so badly to be able to make it better for him.

"You'll find-"

Jacob held up his hand, stopping me mid-sentence. At that point I would have done nearly anything he'd asked, if only he wouldn't hurt anymore.

I stepped toward him with that intention but he stepped back, further back then he needed to. I felt it like a blow to my chest.

"No," he said, his voice trembling a little. "I-I need some time, Bella, to…process. I need time."

And with that he turned and leapt into the air, changing to his wolf form before he touched the ground. After that he was gone, and I knew it would be a while before I saw him again, if ever.

My biology homework was forgotten, and when the teacher asked me what happened I broke down in tears in the middle of class.

He gave me an extension on the assignment.

**A/N: I added extra Paul to this batch as a Christmas gift just for you. ;-)**

**Chapter 8**

I sat in Emily's kitchen while she made bacon. I needed to figure out how I kept getting talked into coming over to people's houses and stop it.

Though, I hadn't really fought it when she called Charlie, she didn't have my number, to invite me over. After what happened with Jacob I needed someone who would understand, someone who could empathize. I was hurting so much. Everyone was.

Emily smiled when she saw me but the smile didn't quite reach her eyes. That's the way it was with people who knew. We were all affected by this. I was dragging everyone down.

She invited me in and sat me down at her new kitchen table before moving to the oven to begin preparing some food for the guys when they came back from patrol. I wondered who paid for all the food they ate. The tribe maybe. Surely Sam and Emily couldn't afford it all.

From her place over the stove Emily spoke. I don't have wolf hearing and I nearly didn't catch her words.

"I see you and I wonder. I wonder if I should have fought it harder."

"Fought what?" I asked.

She waved around her casually but her voice was choked and I knew she was crying when she spoke. "This. All this. _Him_."

Sam. She was questioning Sam, and the love he had for her, what they had for each other. She was doing it because of me. Didn't she see? I might be fighting it, but I would drag everyone down with me. Her love only broke one heart. My body count was far higher than that already.

"No!" I cried. Then softer "No, Emily. You made the right decision. You, the love you two share, I've never seen anything like it. It's true love."

Emily turned to me and wiped her face with the sleeve of her blue shirt. "If it's so right for me, than why is it wrong for you?"

That…was a difficult question to answer. Shit.

I frowned. "Maybe it's not right for everyone."

Emily raised a delicate eyebrow at me.

"I-I-I mean," I didn't know why I was stuttering, but her gaze was suddenly too perceiving for my liking. "It's just, so many hearts have gotten broken around me, because of me. So many people hurt. I'm like a heart plague, everyone catches and no one survives." I was crying now. I hadn't realized how true I felt my words were until they were out. It was silly really, but after rejecting Jacob I felt like my insides were crushed. I laid my head on the new table and sobbed.

Soon I felt Emily's small arm slip over my shoulders and a chair scraped as she pulled it up beside me.

"Oh, sweetheart," she said. "I'm so sorry."

"I didn't want to be normal," I said through choking tears, "and now I got my wish in spades and" my voice broke and I squeaked inelegantly, "and I hate it!"

Emily let me cry for a long time. She was good at this mothering stuff. Ironic considering she was only a few years older than me. She ran her slender fingers comfortingly through my long hair and just let me cry it out. When I was done she gave me a glass of water.

"You know," she said, sitting next to me as I drank, "I think relationships that come easy are wonderful, and often full of so much love. They last. And ones full of passion and awe, they feel wonderful, and they don't usually last. But there's another kind, the difficult ones. Maybe those ones have real love hidden in them, when it's not easy, when it hurts, maybe they make you love better than the others do. I don't know," she added with a shrug, "it's just something to think about."

I stared at her. I'd never thought about that before.

"But Edward, Jacob…"

"Jacob is young," Emily replied. Then she grimaced, "and a bit dramatic. In the forest, really?"

Of course she knew, she lived with Sam.

"He'll get over it, eventually," she said. "He just needs time. And one day he'll find the right girl and he'll wonder what all his anxt was about."

I couldn't help but smile at that thought. I hoped he found someone to make the pain I'd given him fade to nothing.

"And Paul," she continued.

"I don't want to talk about Paul." It was true, I really didn't. And, I really did.

"He really is a good guy."

"Did you see the texts he sent me?"

"He's trying to protect himself." Emily got back up and drained a pot of boiled eggs over the sink. She'd piled the bacon high on a plate and put it in the fridge, she put the eggs in cold water and returned to her seat beside me.

"He's trying to protect himself and he thinks you'll betray him, or laugh at him. He's not very good with emotions."

"I never would have noticed," I replied wryly.

"Just give him time, he'll come around. And, be open when he does try. It'll happen faster than you expect."

"I don't expect anything," I said with a glare.

Emily patted my shoulder. "Of course you don't. That's only reasonable." Why did I have the uncomfortable feeling she was being sarcastic? I was _not_ being unreasonable and I really _did_ expect nothing. I still had a boyfriend for God's sake!

The sun shone through the screen door and I turned to it with a smile. Happy to change the subject.

"Oh, look, sunshine!" Maybe I was being a little too perky, but I needed just a moment's respite from all this.

I stepped out onto the porch to bask in the rare afternoon sun, and Emily stepped out with me, a mug of black coffee in her hand.

"It's a lovely day. You'll do just fine," she said softly and looked at her happily. Yes, it was, and maybe I would.

I was turning away from Emily, a smile on my face, when I spotted Paul. He was standing on the ridge near the cottage in nothing but cutoff jeans, chest heaving. I guessed he ran there. He was staring at me like…like there was thing else in the _world_.

I looked away but could feel the blush stealing up my face.

I couldn't hear Emily anymore. Where was she? Had she just abandoned me to this? I thought back on our conversation. Probably.

Then I could feel Paul's heat as he stood beside me, facing me. I turned and looked up at him. He looked a little pale, maybe even a little green. Concern washed through me.

"Are you okay? Are you sick?" Before I could stop myself I'd pressed my hand to his forehead, then his cheek, trying to check his temperature. Not that I'd be able to tell, wolves always seemed unnaturally hot to me.

Paul made a soft, almost choked, sound in his throat and leaned his face into my hand. His brow was furrowed and I frowned with him. This wasn't the same man I'd met that day nearly a month ago, the one who would rather humiliate himself than admit that he wanted me. This wasn't the one who jovially insulted me upon seeing me. Wasn't the one who spent more than a week texting me everything from _ur a bitch n I hate you_ to _I like pears_ to _Marry me_.

This man seemed like he was breaking. I had the sinking feeling it was my fault.

"Oh, Paul." I slid my fingers down his face to rest softly against his neck and his pulse pounded firmly against my palm. Touching him felt natural, as natural as it had once been with Jacob.

He stepped forward and his stomach nearly brushed my chest, then he opened his eyes and looked down at me. There was such frustration and confusion there. And something else, something I refused to name, something _not real_.

"Bella." The word was choked out and he slid his arms around my shoulders, bringing me into a tight hug. It was like slipping into a sauna, burning hot, stimulating, and perfectly relaxing at once. I couldn't helping it, I molding myself against him and returned the hug, wrapping my arms around his middle, feeling fully at home.

"Fuck me," he breathed against my hair, and if I hadn't been so stressed I would have laughed. The words were not a request, just a statement of how screwed up this situation was. I couldn't have agreed more.

He pulled me tighter, until I could feel the planes and angles of his muscles against me, and took a deep breath. I relaxed entirely against him. I was _warm_. I never wanted to move.

"I'm sorry about Jacob."

Ah. That.

I shrugged and hugged Paul tighter. I was sorry about him too. A few errant tears leaked out onto his bare chest but I managed to contain myself.

I liked how Paul smelled. Kind of piney and spicy, like Christmas.

A hand lifted from my back to rest, loosely curled, against my jaw. It stayed there for a few minutes before Paul used it to life my face.

I looked into his eyes. They were beautiful. I wanted to kiss his long lashes, get lost in the darkness of his irises, memorize the foreign angles of his eyes. It occurred to me that he really was very nice, when he wasn't talking.

But the hope in his eyes, that was a dangerous thing, especially around me.

He leaned closer to me, so close our noses brushed, and I should have known what was about to happen, but I was too caught up in _him_ to realize what he was doing. So the kiss caught me completely off guard.

His lips, pressed to mine so gently, and with such intensity, were like an electric shock through my system. I could feel myself falling. It was so natural, so right, and so very absolutely wrong. He didn't even want me.

With a soft cry I tore myself away from him. He let me go.

Edward. Jacob. How could I do this to them?

The look on Paul's face mirrored the pain and desire in my own heart. I hated this. I hated imprinting.

I got to my truck and took out my keys, determined to get away from this insanity. I couldn't see more than a silvery blob past the tears streaming down my face. My hands trembled so badly I couldn't get the key in the lock and after several tries I gave a short scream and threw the keys on the ground. Beside me someone knelt and picked them up.

Paul.

_Fuck me. _

He slipped the key in the lock easily and opened the door gently, making sure not to hit me with it. I just stood there and looked at my feet, hated myself. With warm hands he helped me slide my trembling frame into the driver's seat and then when I just sat and stared at my hands he leaned over me and put the key in the ignition. No words were spoken. What would I have said? As he pulled away his hands brushed against my own where they lay in my lap. They burned from his touch, like I'd gotten them too close to an open flame. I sniffled and nodded, looking at his shoulder instead of him, and he shut my door.

It was all on me then.

I drove my truck away crying and made it a few yards past the treaty line before Emmett showed up. He'd never showed up before, but Edward could sense I needed space, Alice and I were having issues I hadn't even begun to understand, Jasper would probably eat me, Rosalie didn't care one way or the other, and Esme and Carlisle were busy. That left Emmett. He was very nice. I wished I'd gotten to know him better. But it was too late now. God, everything was going wrong. It was too late for everything.

I thought of the look on Jacob's face, the look on Paul's face as I drove away. How could this get any worse, how?

When I got to my room Edward was waiting for me.

**Post A/N: So, I fell asleep while doing research for my fics today. That is to say, while watching Eclipse. ^_~ And then I had this dream. I dreamed that Jacob was in my city. I dreamed he was living in this crowded house with his family between movies (erm, I think my brain kind of made a Jacob/Taylor hybrid). Well, he was in a bad mood and sulking because Bella was about to marry Edward and he couldn't do anything about it. I was over visiting some of his siblings but I caught him in the attic and grabbed his arm and asked him to kiss me (thank GOD I was younger in my dream than I am. I mean, ten years isn't the end of the world, but at his age it's still not ok either way you go…). Well, he said no, rather fiercely. I asked him again, and he got this look in his eyes and then he said yes. And suddenly he was crowding me and bending toward me and I was like "What? Wait, wait, are you sure? You're kind of hurting right now…" and he told me I had better remember this and proceeded to kiss my brains out. So, I'm just following orders really, by recording this. I woke up and my heart was pounding in my ears and throat and my mouth was tingling. In my sleep addled state actually sat up and looked around thinking that there must be someone hiding in the corners because a dream couldn't feel that real. Apparently it *can*. That's what I get for falling asleep during that movie. Merry Christmas!**


	7. Chapter 9

**A/N: Thank you again for the favorites and comments. I hope you like the latest chapter. It's super short, sorry about that, kind of in a hurry and it was either wait and make the chapter longer or post it like it is and have all you nice people get to read a little bit but read it a bit earlier. I hope it doesn't waffle too much…**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, nor any of the characters therein. **

**Chapter 9**

I stared at Edward for a long time. I'd never seen him look less human.

There, in my room, backlit by the moon peaking through the clouds, he stood completely unmoving. Only his hair rustled in the slight breeze from my open bedroom window, his chest did not rise and fall with breath. He was a beautiful statue and as different from me as I was from the trees and stones.

I looked away first.

"Bella-"

"No."

"But-"

"No."

"I-"

"N-"

"We-"

"I want to speak with Alice!"

Had we just had a real fight? My heart sank in my stomach at the look on his face. We both knew what this was, but I wasn't that brave, and apparently neither was he.

I blinked and he was a gone. A few moments later Alice was standing in my room.

I sat heavily on my bed.

"That was fast."

"I saw you ask for me."

Of course.

I was too tired to cry anymore, and hurt too much to show it. I was beginning to feel that numb feeling that had consumed me when Edward first left.

Edward. My love.

_I don't love you enough._

"Look," I began.

"This has to do with those dogs, doesn't it?" Alice growled.

My head snapped up, I was surprised. Then I was angry.

"What does it matter?" I was gripping my nice yellow quilt, glaring at Alice, who had begun to pace the room.

"You shouldn't hang out with them, Bella, they're bad. We've all told you."

Sorry, was I five?

I felt my eyes narrowing. "You don't get to tell me what to do."

"Bella."

"Alice!" I didn't know what had gotten into me. A month ago I never would have raised my voice to anyone. A month ago the Cullens were gods to me. Now, now through the haze of my anger I saw a creature as foreign to me as an alien in a UFO, and not godlike, just different. The very thought stunned me.

"Alice," I said, feeling as though I was deflating, "I think Edward and I need to take a break."

"He already knows," she said.

I laid back in the bed and looked over at her. "I love him."

She nodded. "He knows that too, now."

I cringed a little but didn't say anything. I deserved that.

I shrugged as I slid under the covers. Yellow really was a nice color.

"I'm not saying b-b-not being with him, just… not see each other for a while." I sighed. "I need some time to think. Just, some time."

Wow, that reminded me of something someone else had said to me just recently. Ah, guilt cutting through me like a knife, as if I'd somehow forget how that felt. I tried to ignore it. I was too tired to feel guilty.

I blinked but Alice was still there. I frowned, confused.

"What is it Alice?"

She looked sad, almost to the point of tears, if vampires could cry.

"Bella," she said softly, "what's going on?"

I sat up slowly and looked at her, acutely aware that Edward was probably listening to her thoughts. "Why do you ask?"

Alice's voice wobbled as she spoke and it was the first moment where I realized that by breaking up with Edward I'd be breaking up with his family too.

"Because, Bella, I can't see your future anymore. It's gone."

**Post A/N: I've been reading Twilight in 15 Minutes (you should look it up) and laughing my butt off. Hilarious, really. I can barely breathe I laugh so hard. **


	8. Chapter 10

**A/N: The next chapter! Ahahahaha! I want to thank everyone who reviewed and favorited. You're awesome. I hope you all had/have a wonderful New Year's. Sorry this took so long, work and migraines got to me. Also, I went back and added a paragraph or two to the end of Chapter 8. Something that was in my head but somehow missed out on being on the page when I first wrote the chapter. I have nothing to say about Chapter 9 as I don't actually remember writing half of it. I think I was so determined to post a chapter that I finished it while being mostly asleep. Lol, I guess that makes it kind of impressive, huh?**

**Chapter 10**

Paul showed up at my school.

_Of course_ he would show up at my school. That sounds like a _completely_ reasonable thing to do.

I was in English class. We were watching Dracula. It was the end of the year after all. That movie is really weird. I found I preferred the real thing.

After the rather unpleasant discussion with Alice, in which I said I wanted to take a break from Edward and she said she couldn't see my future, and in which I did not mention Paul having imprinted on me in the slightest, the Cullen family decided they needed to go hunting. I guess Edward needed to kill something, if the black look in his eyes the next morning was any indication. I'd never seen Rosalie look so happy. They'd left two days ago.

_Where did they go, Canada?_

I wondered, vaguely, if they were gone again, but the thought of that didn't hurt as much as the first time, maybe because I wasn't the one being rejected.

I scribbled circles and hills on my paper.

Paul's entrance was truly epic. The door to the classroom swung open and slammed solidly into the wall behind it. Everyone jumped, including the teacher, whose glasses now sat askew on his face.

All eyes turned to Paul, including mine.

_Fuck._

He was wearing a shirt. That was new.

His gaze locked on mine and his eyes narrowed. How many days had it been since I'd seen him? Oh, about four. Why did it feel like four hundred? Why did I even care? My heart lodged itself in my throat, and it wasn't entirely from fear.

My teacher was either a very brave man or a very stupid one. He started toward Paul. "Excuse me, what do you think you're-"

Paul turned his dark gaze on the other man. "I wouldn't try it," he said in a low voice.

My teacher stopped dead in his tracks.

Paul looked back at me, so did everyone in class. "Well?"

_Damn._

With shaking hands I pushed myself back from the desk and stood up to follow him.

"We need someplace quiet," he told me once we were outside my class. I turned left and he fell in step beside me.

Glancing out of the corner of my eye I frowned. He looked worse than last time, he was clearly sweating and little tremors ran through him. He looked really sick. I couldn't bring myself to mention it, not when I felt like I was being dragged to the principal's office for a lecture.

We stopped in the music hall. The orchestra teacher was around but he blared his music so loudly there was no chance he'd hear us. We were completely alone.

"So, when are you going to break up with him?"

"What?" I shouldn't have been surprised, that sounded like the exact kind of question Paul-who-didn't-really-like-me would ask. Ask about my boyfriend. Who I currently _was_ considering breaking up with. But I wasn't going to tell him that. What right did he have to know?

"When are you going to break up with him?" He spoke very slowly, like I was a child, or very stupid.

I narrowed my eyes, but looked past his shoulder, "Why are you here? Don't you have school or patrolling or something?"

Paul was clearly thrown by the abrupt topic change. "I got my GED last year," he said.

Now I was surprised, "Really?"

He raised an eyebrow. "You thought Sam would just let us drop out? Right, like that would happen. Now, back to what I said. "

With my distraction having failed I refused to make eye contact, afraid he'd see the lie. "Why would I break up with him?"

Paul's fished mouthed for a moment. "You can't stay with him."

"Why exactly?" I wanted to go back to class, to the stupid movie, and wondering where the Cullens were, to _not_ thinking about him. He had to have chosen to come now because Alice couldn't see it or stop him. He was sneaky like that, I could already tell. He kept showing up at exactly the right-wrong time.

Paul threw up his hands. "Because you're my mate!"

Well, that was a new word. I was his imprint _and_ his mate? _Oh boy_. The music from the orchestra room throbbed softly through the walls.

He was _crowding_ me now and I was having a hard time thinking of a response. Didn't this boy know _anything_ about personal space? Like, a few inches is good, so the other person can _breathe_.

I glared at him because it was either that or press my face into his chest and that seemed counterintuitive to the point I was trying to make. Why did he have to smell so good?

"But why should I break up with him?" I began. "He actually wants me. He loves me. He would die for me." _Does it matter that I don't feel the same for him anymore? What is wrong with me? _"Why would I trade that for a big of Quileute magic and some…sexual tension? You don't even_ like_ me!" The last words came out as a bitter accusation and I could feel the tears pricking the corners of my eyes.

Paul grabbed my shoulders and shook me, not hard enough to hurt me but hard enough to get his point across. His hands burned through my shirt, marking me.

His deep voice was trembling, but determined, and loud. I was glad the orchestra teacher had the volume on his music so high.

"And what if I told you I lied? That I want you? That I need you? That it literally hurts to breathe without you beside me. What then? What if I told you I would do anything for you, take a bullet, gnaw off my own leg, if only it would keep you safe and content. What if I told you that I admired you before the imprint, but I was too stubborn to say it, I didn't want to seem weak or inconsistent. What then? What then?"

I stared at Paul with wide eyes.

_Oh, well, that changes things. That changes things quite a lot. _

**Post A/N: My next post will be on I'm Not Anyone. Then back to this for Chapter 11. **


	9. Chapter 11

**A/N: First, you guys rock! I got, like, a bajillion reviews and a lot of faves. Many more than I expected and I'm grateful for them all. Second, I really should take a couple days to mull over a chapter before posting it. You all will receive better writing that way. I'm much happier with it now. I hope you are, too. Oh, and there is A LOT of cursing in this chapter. Um…yeah.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, nor any of the characters therein. **

**Chapter 11**

I caught Edward in the parking lot as he came into school. It was a Friday, and a decent day for a break up, as days for break ups go. No holidays on the horizon, no birthdays, no funerals. So much had happened in the last month, he didn't even know how much had happened. I'd sent Paul home, as gently as I could, after his confession. What else was there to do? Technically I was still with Edward and I just couldn't bring myself to start something before I'd stopped the other. Or, start something _more _than had already been started. They both deserved my choices to be without reservation. Poor Jacob, he'd never gotten that from me. I hadn't deserved him at all. And now, I was an imprint. Maybe Edward would know someday, but not today. Today I just needed to end it with my beautiful statue.

So, Edward looked at me and I could see his disappointment, but otherwise he didn't acknowledge me. I caught his arm as he passed and for his part he stopped for me.

"Bella," the name said in his honeyed voice almost made me shiver. Almost. Maybe it was the rain soaking into the bottom of my pants that distracted me.

"We need to talk."

Edward frowned deeply. Apparently that means the same in vampire relationships as it does in human ones. I glanced over at Alice, saw her broken expression, and I knew that he knew what I was going to say, so his next words threw me.

"Bella," his voice was soft and neutral, "the bell is about to ring."

I gaped at him. Why would he put this off? "We need to talk _now_," I added.

Edward removed his arm from my grip and took my elbow as he began to guide me inside. Why did that suddenly seem like one of the most condescending things anyone had ever done to me? I glared at him but he was impervious.

"We will talk," he said genially, "_after_ class."

"No! But, but…" I tried to wiggle out of his grip but it was no use and as soon as we were in the doors he melted into the crowd and was gone. I glared where he had been. Why was he making this harder?

That day at school there was a new girl, a junior, but it wasn't like there were a lot of new kids attending Forks High. She and her brother were the talk of the school, just as I had been last year. It was even odder that she would show up six weeks before graduation. Any later and she wouldn't have needed to attend at all, she could have just come next year. Jessica told me that her mom was Quileute and her dad was a business man from Norway. She had clearly inherited her father's height and broader shoulders, but her mother's skin tone and hair. Her eyes were green, her cheekbones high and pronounced, and her nose strait. She was beautiful, beautiful and shy.

Her brother, a sophomore, made up for this by being loud, outgoing, and obnoxious. They seemed to me to be exact opposites in personality. Her brother had died his hair blond, but it was easy to see the dark roots. They said that her mother decided to move back to Forks after their dad died, because she found out her son was involved in gang activity. Well, it was true, there was no gang activity in Forks, unless you counted the wolves, which I didn't.

It was Charlie who suggested I talk to her. I think it was his subtle way of getting me to check them out. He'd probably heard the same rumors I was hearing. So at lunch I did something completely out of the ordinary and sat down next to her, where she was sitting with a few other juniors. It wasn't like Edward was giving me the time of day. In fact, he was studiously avoiding me. Coward.

The girl, whose name was Amelia, turned to look at me for a moment before looking away, her long curtain of hair hiding her face.

"Hi, I'm Bella," I said.

She nodded. "Amelia."

"Nice to meet you." Luckily she was so much taller than me that I didn't have to duck to see her face, even though she was trying to hide it behind her hair.

She almost smiled, but not quite. "Yeah, you too." Her voice was soft and deep and she crossed her arms over her waist in a move I recognized well. She was in pain. Of course she was, her dad had died and now she had to move to a new town and a new school; one that, twenty years ago, had probably not been very approving of her mom and dad.

We chatted awkwardly until the bell rang and she gathered her plate and bag.

"Thanks," she said, before walking away, "for saying hi."

I found I liked her, though I couldn't help but wish she was uglier.

When class ended I searched though the halls for Edward, who had snuck out of class before I could grab him. I finally saw him as he was headed toward the stairs outside.

_Talk after class? You bet your ass we will._

"Edward!" I found myself shouting, stamping my small foot for emphasis. "Get over here now!"

Everyone turned to stare at us. Gah. I sounded like my mother. Double gah.

Edward walked over to me cooly. As cool as the rain now trickling down my back. It made my blood boil, and not in a good way. For goodness sake, it was _still_ raining and I was _trying_ to break up with him. He was being difficult. When he reached me I grabbed his arm and drug him away from the crowd of nosey viewers. It was bad enough we were already the town gossip, they didn't need details. His family flanked us, keeping them at bay.

"Yes, love?" he asked sweetly. He wasn't going to make this easy, was he?

"Edward," I whined. Yes, I whined. It's something I do when I'm irritated.

I took a deep breath, puffed out my cheeks and held it while I counted to ten. Edward just looked on serenely. And, how did his hair stay so perfect in the rain? Perfect and bronzen

"Edward," I began again, "about what I said last time-"

"You need a break," Edward interrupted, "some time. I understand."

"No," I replied, glancing over his shoulder at the parking lot. For some reason I felt antsy, like I needed to do this now and go.

"No?"

I sighed and looked Edward in the eye, willing him to understand. "No."

"Edward," I began for the third time, "I don't think we should just take a break."

A look passed Edward's face and was gone in an instant. He rested an icy hand on my shoulder. "Be reasonable, Bella, let's talk about this."

I glared again. "No, no talking. It's done. You _know_ what I'm trying to say."

His beautiful golden eyes were wide and innocent. "How would I know, Bella?"

I glanced pointedly back at Alice and then to him. "You _know_."

His shoulders slumped suddenly, sadness heavy on his features. "What about Victoria?"

"Are you planning to let her kill me now?" My heart was suddenly in my throat and I shoved my hands in my pockets to hide the trembling. The wolves would protect me, the wolves would protect me…

"_No._"

Relief. "Okay, than that hasn't changed."

"What about the Volturi?"

_Trying not to think about them._

"I thought you didn't want me to change."

Edward gave me a hard look, like I had said the exact wrong thing. "Maybe I lied."

_Bastard. All this time, just trying to seem noble._ I crossed my arms.

"Tough. You were okay with me not turning after I met them. You should be okay with it now."

He stepped closer to me, his cloying sweet scent wafting over me. "I thought you loved me."

Low. Blow.

"I-I do." _But not enough_.

"Then why _this_?" He was pleading.

I wished he would understand. The conversation was _hurting_ me. "It's not enough."

He stared at me, that unblinking look that only his kind could give. "We can work this out."

"No!"

"Bella, don't be-"

"It's over! We're over!" I covered my eyes as the rest of the school turned to stare at us, again. Why was I shouting so much lately?

Edward leaned in very close and I flinched away from his arctic skin, and from him.

"Tell me, is there someone else?"

_Paul_.

"No, Edward, but you need to know-"

"Isabella Swan get your ass over here right now!" The voice echoed across the parking lot and down the halls of the school.

That. Was Sam.

I ducked around Edward and Jasper and headed toward the Quileute Alpha, who was currently standing at the base of the stairs looking as thunderous as I'd ever seen him. Unfortunately, Edward caught me before I'd gone six steps, but that was far enough for Sam to spot me. He let out a conspicuous snarl and Edward released and equally conspicuous hiss.

This was not happing now, at my school.

"Stop it," I stage whispered at both of them, struggling to get out of Edward's grip. It wasn't working, he held me tight.

"Edward, let me go!" There, it wasn't like everyone wasn't already looking at us. I fought the stone grip but instead of getting free I felt myself lifted from the ground. What the hell!

"He's dangerous." Edward hissed into my ear. Sam heard and let out a low growl.

I couldn't believe I had to be the diplomatic one. This was ridiculous. "He's not going to hurt me, you're not going to hurt me; we've already covered this. Now, let me go!"

"He can't be trusted." Edward was beginning to look like he would take off with me. I tried to kick him, not that it would have done any good, and merely flailed uselessly. How embarrassing.

"It's not any of your business!" I nearly screamed.

Edward didn't even glance at me.

Luckily, just then, Alice intervened and rested a hand on Edward's shoulder. Jasper flanked his other side, a hand on his arm.

"Edward," Alice said benignly, "why don't you let her go. We need to get home anyway. Carlisle wants to speak with us." Then, "Everyone's watching."

Edward stared at her for several long moments before slowly lowering me to my feet and finally letting go. I pulled myself away from him with a huff and nearly fell but caught myself on the last stumble and straitened, pushing my hair out of my face. With as much dignity as I could muster I walked down the stairs and over to Sam. However, I couldn't help but glance at the Cullens as they made their way to their cars. And Edward gave me one last longing look before peeling out of the parking lot. I had the feeling I would be seeing him again, whether I wanted to or not.

Sam was clenching his teeth and the muscle in his jaw twitched. He motioned to his truck.

"Get in." It was an alpha order, I could feel it. I didn't have to obey, but I didn't want to see what would happen if I didn't.

He was really scary, and seemed large, larger than I remembered him.

Then, just as I was about to get in he pointed at the new girl, coming down the stairs. She looked like she was trying to be invisible, clutching her books to her chest.

"You," Sam said, pointing at her, "get in." She froze, staring at him with wide eyes. "Your mom is waiting for you at La Push, I told her I'd get you. Let's go." She had rushed over and was in the cab of the truck before I even had time to fully open the door.

We rode to the rez in complete silence. There was an air of fury around Sam that neither of us wanted directed at us. We just sat in the seat, pushed as close to the passenger's door as we could get. It was for the best.

I wished Paul was there.

When Sam got out of the truck he slammed the door so hard the entire body rattled. Amelia and I huddled in the cab and I wondered, not for the first time in the last several minutes, if I was wrong to tell Edward I was safe. Sam just glared at us, though I had a feeling that most of his rage was directed at me.

Amelia was the braver one, she reached over me and opened the passenger's door, forcing me to slide out, too, as she went. We stood on the other side of the truck while Sam's entire body shuttered. Not that it would help if he phased, but it made me _feel_ better.

"You," he said again, and directed his gaze at the younger girl. She quailed visibly. "Go with Embry. Your mom and the elders are waiting."

Embry seemed to appear out of nowhere beside us, but Amelia didn't break eye contact. I had a feeling she was too afraid to look away. I sympathized.

"Go!" Sam snarled and she jerked back, bumping into Embry, who rested a hand on her shoulder. The contact seemed to spring her into motion and she practically ran in the other direction. I watched her longingly; I wished I were that coordinated.

"Get over here."

_Oh, shit._

I went to Sam _very_ reluctantly. The only reasons being that he couldn't kill me, Paul and-or Jacob would kill him if he did, and I couldn't stop him from making me if I didn't.

I stopped when I was beside the hood, still far enough away as to be just out of arms reach.

Sam snarled again and punched the side of the truck, leaving a deep imprint. I jumped and gave a startled cry. I definitely shouldn't have told Edward I would be safe.

"What the fuck are you doing to us?" he spat, as Emily came out from the house and moved to his side. She rested her hand on his forearm and the trembling eased. The anger on his face did not.

"Um, what?" What was I doing to them?

Sam laughed, and it was a bitter ugly sound. "I've been fucking filtering the feelings of the pack for _weeks_ now, you selfish bitch!"

Well, that was…what? What did that have to do with me? Still, I felt humiliation crawl up inside of me and make a home there.

"This mind fuck you're playing with Paul is affecting us _all_!"

_Ooooooh… _

_oh._

"It's affecting us and it's killing him." He seemed to be calming down a little. Just, a little. He wasn't screaming at me anymore.

"I cannot have all my wolves distracted, and in pain, while we're chasing _your_ red headed leech just because _you_ can't make up your _god damned_ mind." He pressed his palms to his temples. "You are going to fix him and we are going to get this shit out of my head!" And, back to the screaming.

"Now, you are going to get in that house and you are going to accept or reject his imprint. Do you understand me?"

I nodded my head so hard I felt dizzy. I blinked back tears furiously.

"Well?"

Before I could even register what Sam was saying he grabbed my arm in a vice-like grip and was dragging me into the house. He practically threw me at the stairs.

"Go." His voice was low, lower than a human's should have been and I scrambled up the stairs just to get away from him.

"Second door on the left," Emily called after me, sounding a bit shell-shocked herself.

There it was, just like she said. I stood in front of the heavy wooden door and stared at it. What exactly was I supposed to do? Fix him? What was wrong? How?

I'd made my choice. Why was I still so scared? Oh, yes, because this was terrifying. I took a deep breath.

"If I don't' hear you in that room in 3 fucking seconds!"

And pushed my way inside.

**Post A/N: I gotta say, it's a good thing I've already started the next chapter because…well, there are **_**boy**_** things in my life, and possibly a **_**date**_**, and I've been going through the **_**mother**_** of all dry spells, until recently. I **_**love**_** sexual tension, gosh, it's like someone has just put fire in your veins. Well, maybe that's just me, but it rocks. Anyway, I'm a bit distracted. So, it's good that I've already written, because as the day gets closer I'll probably be more distracted. Geez. You'd think being in my **_**late**_** twenties this would get easier. Not easier, just involving less tears. Lol. **


	10. Chapter 12

**A/N: Oh my gosh! I posted the chapter! Yeah, more about the hiatus in the post a/n. I also want to thank everyone who commented and favorited. There were SO MANY. I will try to get to them all over the next day, but please know that I'm incredibly grateful and so happy that so many people are enjoying it.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight nor any of the characters therein. **

**Ch 12**

At first the room was completely dark, and then at some point I realized that I had closed my eyes, cringing away from whatever it was I had to see. I knew it wasn't good. Slowly I opened one eye, then the other. I unfurled my fingers, leaving grooves where my nails dug into my palms, and unscrinched my shoulders. My eyes traveled over the sparsely furnished room to the too-small bed where Paul lay.

Oh. My. God.

He lay there covered in quilts that seemed to nothing for the seizure-like tremors that ran through his body. His skin was paler than I'd even imagined it could be and a sheen of sweat covered his face and shoulders. His hair was matted to his head and he tossed and turned weakly.

_How_ had _I_ caused _this_?

A look of deep pain was etched in his face and as I watched a dog-like whimper broke from his lips. My heart broke at the sound and I lurched over to him involuntarily, on legs that suddenly had a mind of their own.

When I was a little girl I remembered my grandmother looked like this once. She died a few days later.

Gingerly I sat down on the edge of the bed, afraid of jarring him, entirely unsure of what to do.

I laid my hand across his forehead. It was cold, colder than a normal person should have been, far colder than a wolf should be.

What was remaining of my body heat left me then.

I wasn't sure how I'd done it but obviously I was an evil psycho bitch. Paul whimpered again and my whole body began to tremble in response.

I would not cry. I would _not_ cry.

_How was I supposed to fix this?_

What was it that Sam said? Accept his imprint or reject it. I stared at Paul's anguished face. How would I even reject the imprint, and what would happen to him if I did? I didn't want to know, and, frankly, it didn't matter; I'd already made my choice. Even if clearly none of them knew it.

I slid onto the bed beside Paul, already beginning to shiver and just wanting to be closer to him, my heat. What if I'd killed him? I rested a hand very gently on his stomach and his tossing stopped. That was something, I supposed.

"Hey, I did it," I whispered. "I broke up with Edward."

Nothing.

I tried again, in a regular voice this time. "I said I did it. Edward and I are over. I did it for you. Ok, not for you for you, more for me for you, but you know what I mean. I _choose_ the imprint. I chose it… I chose you."

Nothing.

God damnit!

Giving a watery sigh I dropped my head to the bed beside Paul's shoulder.

"I really hope I didn't just kill you," I warbled out in a suddenly tear-soaked voice. "I'm sorry it took me so long to decide. I just…had a lot of things I had to sort through. You know? I really do choose you."

I closed my eyes and a few stray tears squeezed out, plopping softly on the blanket. I didn't open my eyes again for a long time.

When I woke it was dark out. I couldn't make out Paul's features but his breathing was slow and deep. Better than the shallow pained breaths of earlier.

However; I was still freezing. Something in me told me that wasn't a good thing.

I shivered and made my way to the bathroom, then downstairs, where Emily was watching a show in the living room. As soon as she heard the last stair creak she was up and heading toward me.

"Are you ok?" she asked worriedly.

I nodded and swallowed slowly. "Yeah, I'm alright. I tried…with Paul." Suddenly the entire situation was very uncomfortable and I looked away. I didn't want to look at her, a woman who had succeeded where I was failing. "Look, is there a phone around? I need to tell Ch-my dad that I won't be home tonight."

"Already done," Emily said, and I looked up at her in surprise. "Sam asked me to call just a little after you went up. I don't think either of us assumed you'd be going home today." She gave me a gentle smile and somehow I felt worse.

"Have I really been making it hard for everyone?"

Emily shook her head. "It doesn't matter now, and honestly, it didn't matter that much then."

So, that was a yes. I frowned but couldn't find anything else to say.

Before I knew it Emily had sat me down at her new dining table and was serving me up a portion of chicken and pasta. I found I was starving, but then, as I glanced at the clock, I hadn't eaten in about 8 hours.

"What are you doing up so late?" I suddenly asked Emily.

She shrugged, "Sam's on patrol. I usually feel better waiting until he's home. It's just a my thing."

I nodded and ate in silence. When I was finished Emily took the dishes before I could offer to wash them and sent me back upstairs. I was incredibly grateful. Just that short time away I was cold and fidgety.

Back upstairs Paul had begun to toss again, but quieted immediately when I slid into the bed beside him. This time I went under the covers, too chilled to sleep on top of a quilt when I could be inside it. Just being near him seemed to relax me and I could feel myself falling asleep almost before I settled in.

"You better be ok," I whispered to his sleeping form, "I will not be happy if I accepted this imprint just to go back to a life without one. You have an end of the deal to keep up." And then I was asleep again.

When I woke, the world would be different.

**Post A/N: It's short. I know, I know, I'm sorry. I figured better to post this now than even later, right? See, this whole section is really hard to find stopping points for, and while a ten or 15 page chapter is nice to read , it can take a really freaking long time to write. Especially when, say, you already rewrote the chapter THREE TIMES. That, however, is not why the chapter is late. Remember that boy I was going to go out with? Erm, yeah, he turned out to be more of a distraction than expected. A 4 week distraction. But oh what a distraction. I wouldn't take a minute of it back. HAWT. Really, beneath his tweed and glasses he was like…something more than amazing. Guh, I think he short circuited my brain. Anyway, it was great and whirlywindy and the chemistry was, like, unreal (seriously, I'm trying to figure out how I can add in stuff I experience into the fic, it was that awesome), but it's over now. I spent a couple days moping and I may have gotten a bit…inebriated, but I'm done with that too. Back on the writing wagon. Hope you enjoy. The next chapter will involve fluff, Sam in a confrontation, and Charlie. **


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